Who He Made Me To Be
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Romans 12:4-6a (NIV)
The three women were laughing and talking among themselves, having a wonderful time together. Their quiet conversation, intermingled with giggles and confidences, portrayed good friendships and close relationships. They were entirely unaware of how left out I felt, being one of the few other people in the room. They didn't know how I longed to be a part of their discussion, to be a member of that "inner circle." I mentally kicked myself for feeling like I was back in high school. My natural reserve did not permit me to join them and I left feeling worthless and unimportant.
"God, why did You make me like I am?" I questioned for the umpteenth time. I hated my tendency towards shyness. I intensely coveted others' abilities to be outgoing, talkative, and personable. "Couldn't I win more people for You if I could at least talk to them?" I grumbled to my Creator.
In the midst of my self-absorption, my Lord quietly reminded me that I am not worthless and unimportant. I am His child, worthy of His love and sacrifice. I am dearly loved by the most powerful, gentle, holy Being of all time. He has created me the way I am because the specific talents He gifted me with are necessary for His kingdom. Is there room for personal improvement? You better believe it. But for me to desire to be someone else, to have someone else's gifts and abilities, is sin. He has made me one of His beautiful creations. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Your works...that would be ME! And He called "His works" wonderful. He gave me my own personal gifts and talents, ones He picked out just for me. And what an incredible honor it is to have those specific gifts. I am like no one else. And when I desire to be like others, I am denying to be who He made me.
I am slowly coming to realize that part of my reserve can be conquered. And it is a difficult battle. Will I ever be the life of the party? No, most likely not. It's definitely not one of my gifts. But I realize that I don't have to be, remembering that He loves me, and that I am His very special creation.
Janine Miller
The three women were laughing and talking among themselves, having a wonderful time together. Their quiet conversation, intermingled with giggles and confidences, portrayed good friendships and close relationships. They were entirely unaware of how left out I felt, being one of the few other people in the room. They didn't know how I longed to be a part of their discussion, to be a member of that "inner circle." I mentally kicked myself for feeling like I was back in high school. My natural reserve did not permit me to join them and I left feeling worthless and unimportant.
"God, why did You make me like I am?" I questioned for the umpteenth time. I hated my tendency towards shyness. I intensely coveted others' abilities to be outgoing, talkative, and personable. "Couldn't I win more people for You if I could at least talk to them?" I grumbled to my Creator.
In the midst of my self-absorption, my Lord quietly reminded me that I am not worthless and unimportant. I am His child, worthy of His love and sacrifice. I am dearly loved by the most powerful, gentle, holy Being of all time. He has created me the way I am because the specific talents He gifted me with are necessary for His kingdom. Is there room for personal improvement? You better believe it. But for me to desire to be someone else, to have someone else's gifts and abilities, is sin. He has made me one of His beautiful creations. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Your works...that would be ME! And He called "His works" wonderful. He gave me my own personal gifts and talents, ones He picked out just for me. And what an incredible honor it is to have those specific gifts. I am like no one else. And when I desire to be like others, I am denying to be who He made me.
I am slowly coming to realize that part of my reserve can be conquered. And it is a difficult battle. Will I ever be the life of the party? No, most likely not. It's definitely not one of my gifts. But I realize that I don't have to be, remembering that He loves me, and that I am His very special creation.
Janine Miller
Labels: Janine Miller
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