Confessions

Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. Psalm 32:5 (The Message)

I discovered recently I am more than just a procrastinator. Some days I am downright lazy. I can't tell you how freeing this revelation has been to me.

Oh, I know what you are thinking! At least I have a guess. How could that possibly be freeing? Let me tell you, when you acknowledge a character flaw (let's pretend for a minute that I am not the only one with a flaw; just humor me, OK?) it can be enormously liberating! The old saying, "the first step is acknowledging you have a problem," is so true. Just saying out loud to myself "I am lazy" has helped me tremendously. If I can acknowledge the problem, then I have already fought half the battle.

The same is true in confessing my sin. It doesn't only mean those big, life changing, sin-webs I have woven. It means daily confessing those little things that lead to the bigger stuff. Did I tell a half-truth to someone? Did I cheat my employer out of a few minutes (or more) of my work time, that wasn't a scheduled break? I need to confess these. When my husband asked how much I spent shopping, did I give him the full amount or did I 'round down'? These little things give way to bigger things. Sometimes one small lie becomes a bigger lie, and it only becomes easier to start the next one. The consequences might be different, but all sin drives a wedge between me and God, and between me and those I come in contact with. Confession gives me liberty from these sins that are no smaller or larger than any other. Owning up to these sins before God also raises my awareness of them, helping to change my future behavior by making me think an extra split second before I do them again, and hopefully allows me to change tack and tell the truth. The guilt that is absolved is a tremendous weight that I do not have to carry! How liberating! It serves to energize me (even a lazy person), giving me strength do to the right thing from that point forward.

Instead of dreading the realization of my character flaws and the confession of sins, I have learned that these unpleasant recognitions are a momentary and necessary part of cleaning out my soul and mind so that I can concentrate on getting better at life and closer to the God that has washed it all away already.

Lord, bring to my mind those elements of my character that are flawed and the sins that I have committed so that You may fully redeem them. Strengthen me as I strive to be the Christ-like person you created me to be. Amen.

Nikki Hamsher