Wit Versus Grace

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:5,6 (NIV)

I was schooled in the fine art of sarcasm by a family of masters. Biting wit and whip-smart remarks were, and still are, highly honored among my people. If you couldn't keep up with that at the Thanksgiving dinner table, you quickly (and quietly, lest anyone should notice) excused yourself from the conversation. If you wanted to participate, you put on a thick hide, because the pack would quickly turn on their own if they sensed weakness like hyenas on a lame zebra.

Enter Colossians. Here are two verses that completely reverse what I was taught. My words should be full of grace, not wit for the sake of itself. I am to be ready to answer everyone with polished words, not rough talk. The verse says "seasoned with salt," which is different from "salty" words which can be rude or inappropriate. My words can be lively, but not life-stealing. Creativity is not being quelled, but rather indecent or hurtful language that can tear-down rather than build up or explain. Words can be surprisingly difficult to effectively communicate our thoughts and ideas. Written words, without the benefit of nonverbal language, can be even more so. It is easy to mix-up and completely negates what you are saying with an ill-used phrase. The advice to "be wise" should be taken seriously. Once again, we are to think of the consequences of our words and how they sound to others before we spout off. Once spoken, words are hard to take back and even the best explanation cannot always remove the residue of a hurtful word.

God, cleanse my mouth and fill it with well-seasoned and wise words. Amen.

Nikki Hamsher