Tamar: Sin by manipulation

Judah begot Perez and Serah by Tamar. Matthew 1:3 (NKJV)

Mommy, are there onions in the casserole? Okay moms.time to fess up and admit how you answered Johnny and Suzie. Did you say, "No honey," as you were scrubbing the telltale onion juice from your hands? I found a way around "the lie". I told the kids and their friends if they found any onions they could pick them out. Honestly, it worked. They ate the casserole every time! Manipulation in its purest form.

Actually, there is no 'pure' form of manipulation. Many times we attempt manipulation to hide the truth or to get our own way. The story of Tamar and Judah is about manipulation for restitution. It is a very old story told in Genesis 38, but it is one that could be televised at 10:00 PM on primetime television in 2009. That is how current the message has remained.

Judah is a son to Jacob, and the brother to Joseph whose idea it was to sell Joseph into slavery. Judah had three sons; Er, Onan, and Shelah. Tamar was the wife of the firstborn, Er. The Old Testament law required the marriage of a widow to the brother of her dead husband. The purpose was to provide children to carry on the family name and inheritance, a very important aspect of Israelite culture. (Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

Er was a very wicked man in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him. Judah followed the law and told brother Onan to marry Tamar. However, Onan despised knowing the children would not belong to him, so when he was supposed to have sexual relations with Tamar he did not complete the act. This made it impossible for Tamar to have children and for Er to have descendants. The Lord was displeased with Onan's actions and killed him, leaving the youngest son, Shelah. Judah was afraid Shelah would die like his brothers so Judah told Tamar to go back home to Timnah and wait for Shelah to grow up. He never made plans for them to marry.

Years later, and after mourning the death of his wife, Judah traveled to Timnah. When Tamar heard of his arrival, she removed her widow's clothing, dressed as a harlot and covered her face with a veil to hide who she was. She sat at the gate where people entered the town. When Judah saw her, he approached her for sexual relations. He did not know who she was. Before she would have sex with him, she requested a deposit; his seal (a form of identification) with its cord and his walking stick. He granted her request, and Tamar and Judah had sexual relations. Tamar became pregnant. When she went home that day, she removed her veil and harlot's clothing and put on her widow's clothes. When Judah sent his friend to retrieve Judah's belongings, the harlot could not be found. About three months later Judah was told about the pregnancy and he demanded she be brought out and burned to death for accusing him. Tamar called his bluff and showed them the items Judah had left behind, proving without a doubt she had been with him. He relented and admitted Tamar was more in the right because he had not given her to his son Shelah as he had promised. Tamar was driven to manipulation. She seduced Judah because of her intense desire to have children and be the matriarch of Judah's oldest son. Tamar gave birth to twin boys, Perez and Zerah, which gave her a place in the lineage of David and Jesus, found in Matthew 1.

Tamar was widowed twice, rejected, and alone. Her right to a family and children had been stripped from her. She was a victim of circumstance with no ability to fulfill her desires; until Judah showed up. She had a choice, and chose to take the sinful path of manipulation to satisfy the debt she felt she was owed. I wonder if she ever regretted her actions or understood the legacy of her manipulation. She is a direct ancestor of Jesus Christ; but at the time she didn't know that. Tamar could not see the long-term impact of her choice.

We all have been at points in our life when things just were not fair. Our rights were mistakenly taken or abused. A good friend once told me, sternly, that I had no rights. My situation was allowed by God, and God alone could handle it. He cares about me and He cares for me! It was not my 'right' to make demands and stomp my feet until I got my own way. What was right was for me to honor God, my heavenly Father, in everything I said and did, and trust Him.

When we get in the way of God's plan we miss blessings along the way; blessings we will never know. Tamar will never have known what plans God would have designed had she not sinned. What blessings in your life are hindered or altered because you have chosen to do things your way? Are you misunderstood or being mistreated? Do you trust God to work it out?

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

Janet Stutzman