Princess of the Most High King

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days are ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

The sun is shining bright and beautiful outside, but the darkness of my bedroom feels cold and damp, penetrating deep into my soul. I spent hours last night comforting my sobbing daughter, trying to convince her that she is a princess of the Most High King. She is beautiful, not just on the outside, but on the inside too. She is loved more than she could ever imagine, and God has a wonderful and awesome plan for her life. I sang to her, I prayed with her, and finally she fell asleep with peace overtaking her pain.

I look at photo albums and old pictures of my daughter before her eating disorder. They are telltale signs of the contrast difference to her current hollow cheeks and downcast eyes. At what point along the passage to womanhood did she take a wrong turn, traveling down a horrible, abusive and dangerous road of an eating disorder? Where is her joy and that 'love for life' that filled each picture before the eating disorder took up residence? I sit and feel like such a failure as a mom to my young daughter and to the Lord who entrusted her to me. The tears do not easily stop.

Eating disorders have many causes. The current body-awareness culture that impacts our children, especially our daughters, puts pressure upon them to conform to unrealistic standards of outward appearance. We have counseled our daughter not to be caught up in appearance and not to embrace the world's misguided values. However, I know personally, when it comes to appearance, the words can fall on deaf ears. True selves are put aside to become who the culture says we should be, and the result can become an eating disorder.

I am reminded of my own striving to "conform" to the world around me, and having my own preconceived ideas of what my daughter should be, based on the "world's" standards. I saw how we each, in our own way, desire the outward appearances the world values. I know that God's values are different. He has no place for conformity to the world. He never intended for us to all be the same, because He created us individually! Who better understood this than David, the shepherd boy chosen to become King? He praised God for creating him as an individual.

Dear Father, please help us not to place more value on outward appearance over inner qualities. Help us to love and respect the individual within us. Please use our uniqueness and help us Lord, to honor You with our lives.

Tammy Koser

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